There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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