shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
