He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
