My nipple is on Facebook.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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