Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize