Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
