just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
