i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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