It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
