what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
