Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize