Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize