it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
