Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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