Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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