I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
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