You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
