yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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