u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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