You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What a dumb baby whore.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
