all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
