Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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