Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I would ride that face into the sunset
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
