ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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