I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
