we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
