Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
