Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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