He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
