I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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