currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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