me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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