Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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