i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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