i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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