Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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