you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
