She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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