Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize