Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
