I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
