last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize