You just made me feel so damn special
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Mom said you looked used
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
