so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
