just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
