So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
