im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
