Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
