i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
