I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
