Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
