Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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