you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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