Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
