you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
