Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
