Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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