I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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