check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
