I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
