Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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