If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize