The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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