Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
