Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
