remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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