I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
