You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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