Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
